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Inglorious silence
France is a very efficient and well run country. There are more rules, regulations and laws for French people to flout than perhaps in any other nation in the world.
One such regulation prohibits the mowing of lawns with powered mowers on Sundays. This does not present any problem for locals of course because if the weather is unsuitable on the only remaining week-end day, the Saturday, then they simply take a day off work during the following week to carry out the task. Thus keeping their gardens tidy.
I miss very little from the ‘Old Country’ since emigrating to live here over a decade ago. However, I did have a soft spot for sitting in the garden on a warm summer’s Sunday evening, glass of G & T in hand, listening to the melody of an old Webb or Atco mower droning away over some far horizon. It was a reassuring part of Britain’s rich heritage and culture I always thought, and I must say, I do miss that. A little anyway. Not so much so as to want to return to mowing my front lawn amid a hail of 'Special Brew' cans that were habitually hurled at me by children in passing cars whilst I was performing my weekly horticultural chore, but miss it I do nonetheless.
I have therefore decided to market a range of recordings of various mower engines for
those suffering similar attacks of unnaturally eery Sunday silence in rural France.
Now here’s an idea. Furnish yourself with one of my recordings, crank up the volume and pump it outside through a couple of Wharfdale 200 Watt RMS speakers. Then everyone in your neighbourhood can enjoy it as well!
For expats from Kent, Sussex and Yorkshire I will produce a special version with the
added sound of 'leather on willow' plus the occasional "Owzat!" thrown in for good measure.
Until the French come up with yet another piece of asinine legislation to outlaw that too of course!
I’ve finished ‘mowing’ now.
For the day anyway.
