Cutting to the chase.
Memsahib style!

damaged_bumper.gif      “Memsahib!”

“Yes. What do you want?”

     “Where did you park my car?”

“In the lane. Most of it.”

     “What do mean, most of it!?”


“I couldn’t get it all in the boot. I left the rest in the village.”

     “I don’t think I like where this is going. Why didn’t you drive it in?”

“Too wide to go through our gate. It's a bit wider than it was before and I didn’t want to risk damaging it.”

     “I definitely don’t like where this is going. Are you alright?”

"No. I am not!"

     "What? You're hurt? You were injured?"

"Yes. I broke a nail. Putting the other bumper in the boot."

     “OK. Right. The other bumper. Can you give me the keys to what remains of my car
      please?”

“I can cook you something nice for supper tonight.”

     “That isn’t what I asked for Dearest.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

     “I didn’t say it was. Whose fault was it then?”

“The truck drivers’."

     “Oh God. A truck!?”

“No. Two trucks. It was both of their faults.”

     “This conversation isn’t improving my mood Dearest.”

“I am thinking that possibly it may not. Do you want to choose the wine for tonight?”


PS To be fair. My wife is a very good driver. And so she should be. I taught her! However she has a distinctly Far Eastern blunt and unemotional logic when it comes to describing events. Which can actually be quite endearing. Sometimes!


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