It’s gone up!

Immersion in French

Last summer a brand new Range Rover Vogue turned up at our little harbour with a whole bunch of very loud English Hooray Henries and their girlfriends onboard. It was promptly driven down to the end of the Hard (lower slipway) whereupon it bogs down deeply in the blue ooze of mud which lies beneath the gravel - on a fast incoming spring tide.

The occupants disembark and struggle in high heels (the women at least) in the sticky ooze for about fifteen minutes before finally accepting defeat and when sea water had approached the wheel rims. They then decide that discretion being the better part of valour and clearly because it was Daddy's brand new Rangey they had better seek help. So, off they squelch to the local's garage in the village to find Jean-Louis, the owner. Jean-Louis immediately drops everything he's doing and returns with them on his 'rusty but trusty' old three wheel tractor.

Jean-Louis takes one look at the rapidly sinking shiny new Rangey, squints upstream at the three knot spring flood and says,

"Je voudrais trente Euros s'il vous plait." ("I would like thirty Euros please.")

He holds out an oil ingrained hand in polite anticipation.

The leader of these plonkers replies "My good man, I'm not paying you thirty jolly Euros just for a tow!"

Then snorts (the way Hooray Henries do) and looks at each of his friends in turn to exchange admiring nods of approval and support.

Without another word, Jean-Louis climbs back aboard his antique tractor, winds her up till she starts in a cloud of blue smoke and proceeds to head back to his garage - with a now hysterical Hooray Henry panting close behind in hot pursuit. Jean-Louis stops, slowly and deliberately shuts down the raucous old diesel, slowly, very, very slowly and deliberately he turns, reaches down with outstretched palm and politely says -

"Je voudrais soixante Euros s'il vous plait".

Some unseen force was now gripping and twisting Hooray's unspeakables to such an extent as to raise his already shrill shrieking by another couple of octaves - "Sixty!? You said thirty before!"

Jean-Louis smiles from his commanding position high on the seat of his ancient tractor. He looks directly over Hooray's head at the tide now lapping round the tail lights of the Range Rover. Then, in front of a silently expectant and admiring audience of some fifty or more, Jean-Louis answers. Gently but quite firmly, and in perfect English -

"It’s gone up!"


Mistral's commitment:
Bringing the benefits of computerisation to our industry - without the historically associated problems.

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