NHS

National Health ~~Service~~ Shambles. They call me the Pink Bunny!
Verbatim. Really!

Despite Britain's best NHS efforts at trying to kill me by denying me any care whatsoever following my heart attack in 1999 I survived. By forking out £11,000 for a NHS surgeon, working on the black for Papworth Hospital, Cambridge, to operate upon me privately. At 50 years old I felt a little aggrieved, having already contributed at least twice, probably as much as three times more in taxes and National Insurance contributions than most of Britain's working population would ever do so in their entire working lives.

Even that non event was insufficient to persuade my wife and me to dismiss all our employees, shut down our fledgling but highly successful company and relocate to France. Not even the NHS's various other life threatening failures levelled at us achieved that. The attempted theft of contrived, totally unwarranted, extra personal tax claims. That was the final straw. £11,000 (£22,000 in today's money) and which the British government VOLUNTARILY returned to me some years later. In a forlorn attempt at trying to bribe us into changing our minds and return to England, restoring our pioneering enterprise. We had relocated to France, re-establishing our now world leading IT business here, and we have never looked back.

French medical services, for which we have never been asked to contribute as much as a Cent have saved my life now on two occasions. Yes, contrary to belief the French do have a national health service. The major difference between it and Britain's collection of over-paid, less than competent prima donnas is that the French system works.

"We are going to offer you one of these." Says Professor Lectric (name changed to protect the guilty). Pulling out a silver coloured box, the size of a Senior Service cigarette pack from the top drawer of his desk.

"OK." I replied and continuing in French of course. "Where does that go?"

"In your chest, above your heart. It's a new device called an Internal Defibrillator. This is one of five prototypes developed here in Rennes University Hospital, in conjunction with leading medical device makers from Italy."

"I'm not ungrateful but I don't want it." I replied, somewhat alarmed.

"You haven't seen the batteries yet." Prof said with a broad grin.

"I still don't want it, but thanks anyway."

"You won't get a second chance." Prof continued.

"Why? Is it some sort of special offer?"

No. this one, a prototype as I said, cost over 70,000 Euros to make. You won't be asked again because you'll be dead. But look on the bright side, if you accept this clinical trial it should improve, even restore your sex life."

"You have my full attention now. Would that be as an out-patient or do you make house calls? If house calls then Thursday afternoons are good for me. Her indoors goes to E.Leclerc on Thursday afternoons, for the weekly shopping." I replied.

"Be serious." Prof retorted, sternly. "Well we fitted four already and the last patient went on to have six babies."

"Six babies! I thought you said it was a heart device not a fertility aid."

"Yes, it is a heart device but she's a rabbit. A large white one with a fluffy tail."

"Good grief it gets worse. A rabbit! Haven't you fitted one in a human yet?"

"Of course we have. Not a live one, but you are an Englishman and the next best thing. If it works in you, and I'm sure it will, then we will start installing them in French people too."

Suitably impressed and reassured I received the device and it lasted five years. By this time the Internal Defibrillator went into volume production and I had a new, all titanium cased model fitted. It is now in its sixth year and predicted to last another four years. It cost just 14,000 Euros. I have never been charged a Cent.

Maybe Britain should consider privatising its flawed since 1948 inception NHS too!

Sue me if you dare NHS.

Can't be succesfully prosecuted for telling the truth and all supporting documentation and witness accounts to hand!

Mistral's commitment:
Bringing benefits of computerisation to our RAC industry - without the commonly associated problems.

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