A trifling thing
My dear wife invited eight guests for dinner at the week-end. She suggested that I make the desert. My legendary, even if I say so myself, Sherry Trifle.
Fair enough but it had been a long time since I last made one, and they aren't as simple to get right as many would believe. So here is my recipe and method.
Trifle for 10 individual 45cl or 50cl Glass Sundae bowl servings.
Ingredients.
Two 75cl botitles of Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry.
Two packets each of 24 Sponge Fingers.
Two slabs of Chivers red jelly cubes (no substitute!).
Two heaped Table Spoons of Birds Custard Powder (no substitute!).
Two level Table Spoons granulated sugar (don't inform the Food Police!).
Two large bananas.
One litre of milk. Skimmed or otherwise, doesn't matter.
Two 25cl tins of Evaporated Milk.
Half a litre of Whipping Cream, or Mascarpone.
100 grams roasted split Almonds.
300 grams fresh Raspberries.
Optional:- Small tin Mandarin segments or Peach halves or Apricot halves, in syrup.
Method.
Slice two sponge fingers lengthways into halves then cut each half into two, for each Sundae bowl. Arrange the eight pieces neatly in the bottom of each bowl.
Carefully measure out 15cl quantities of Sherry and pour each measure over the sponge finger segments. Set the bowls to one side for at least an hour to allow time for the Sherry to saturate the sponges.
Make up a large jug of Chivers jelly, following instructions on the packets. A tip:- Use only half the boiling water suggested for melting the separated jelly cubes, then stir in the same volume of ice cubes or better still, chip ice, so as to speed up the setting process.
Discover that only half the Sherry has been absorbed by the sponges and the remainder, if allowed to remain, will prevent the jelly setting fully.
Rummage around in your kitchen drawer under the sink (everyone has got one of those) and find a kiddies plastic drinking straw. From before the time possession became a Hanging offence.
Suck out the surplus Sherry from each bowl. Be careful to only suck, not blow. You don't wish to pass on any nasty foreign diseases you might have picked up on your last Stag party trip to Majorca when you were a lad.
Measure equal quantities of half set jelly into each of the twenty Sundae bowls which are twice as many as you started with because you are now seeing double.
Rummage around once more in your kitchen drawer to find a magnifying glass so as to read the minute instructions bizarrely printed by a Sadist in only 2mm high letters on the Birds custard tin.
Look in your cutlery drawer for a tbsp, whatever in Hell's name one of those is. Google tbsp to try and find out, while the jelly starts, hopefully, to set fully. Ignore the first '250,000 Google finds in 15 seconds', because they are all wrong, as usual. Phone Maiden Aunt Noreen (everyone has got one of those) and discover tbsp printed in 2mm high letters on the Birds Custard tin refers to 'Tablespoon'. Meaning of 'heaped' isn't explained.
Discover that the jelly isn't setting after all and the remaining Sherry has all floated to the top.
Go find the straw again and suck all the remaining Sherry out of each bowl rather than wasting it. Throw the rest of your failure away and go buy two large tubs of Vanilla ice cream, along with some squirty chocolate sauce, to serve as desert for the coming week-end. Arrange the Mandarin segments in your imagination, once you can focus clearly again.
Eat both bananas and make yourself sick. You'll feel better in the morning. Add the raspberries to your breakfast Cornflakes.
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