Word Association Test.

If I say “Gold” you would probably immediately think something along the lines of “Silver” or “Bullion” or “Ingot” or even "Jewellery", wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t voice any of those words though. Just think them. Word association is what it’s called and psychiatrists use it as one of their diagnostic techniques. Singapore Chinese, making up around eighty percent of the population, actually say the first thing that comes into their heads. Out loud!

“So what’s the problem with that?” you might ask. Well nothing really except when one is trying to conduct business or maybe engage in a simple transaction. Such as trying to buy a screwdriver for example.

One of my experiences living in Singapore in the 80s went something like this:-

Me: “Hello, do you have any Philips screwdrivers in stock please?”

Salesman: “We got flat blade screwdriver.”

Me: “No thanks. I need Philips. Do you have any?”

Salesman: “We got hammer.”

Me: “I don’t need another hammer right now thanks. Just a screwdriver. One for Philips head screws.”

Salesman: “We got saw.”

Me. Getting frustrated: “So have I. Lots actually. Do you have any Philips type screw drivers at all please? If you don't then I will have to go and ask in another store.”

Salesman: “Yes. We got Philips screwdriver. What size you want?”

Me. Relieved: “Thanks. Good. I need a number ten. With a long shaft please.”

Salesman: “We got number eight with long shaft.”

Me: “OK, That will have to do. I’ll take one please.”

Salesman: “We got number ten as well. You want that one too?”

Do you see the problem now?

Anyway one day I found myself invited to a reception at Singapore's American Embassy. I know, I know. I wasn’t going to mention it in case you thought I was name dropping but then it is true and that is where the rest of this story took place, so I thought “What the hell. I’ll tell it how it was!”

I was chatting with the Consular Trade Development Officer, a lady, and the subject got around to cultural differences between East and West.

I related my story above to the lady much as I have just done for you and then I asked her “Is it me or do the Chinese really have a fundamentally different way of thinking?”

The Officer replied “Oh it is definitely not you. It is a well known fact. I’ll give you an example of my own experiences.”

The lady continued.

“I needed a new washing machine so I went into CK Tang on Orchard Road and found the hardware and white goods department. I was fed up with the way locals both procrastinate and also how they never miss a trick trying to sell you something you neither want nor need. So I approached the salesman like this."

“Hello. I don’t want a cooker.”

"The salesman looked surprised but didn’t say anything and so I continued with:" “I don’t want a vacuum cleaner.”

"Again he looked puzzled but I persevered and said:" “I don’t want a dish washer and I don’t want a Microwave oven either. Neither do I want a tumble drier nor a refrigerator. I don’t want a food blender or a coffee percolator or an electric kettle. OK?”

"Finally, clearly exasperated the salesman then asks me:" “What you want then lady?”

"I replied:" “I wish to buy a washing machine please.”

"So the salesman says:" “We got freezer.”

"I didn't reply. I just turned and walked away."

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